How A Woman Heals: A Journey Back To Oneself February 20, 2020 – Posted in: Lifestyle

At first, I closed my eyes because I was afraid of the wounds I may see; maybe the gashes in my heart were too deep to be reached. For so long, I had taken care of everyone but myself. Perhaps, I could tidy things up by placing my own needs in a place no one could reach, not even myself.

As I went about my days, I tended to others with the warmth I longed to have, myself. I smiled determinedly. I was going to defy my own needs. Focusing my efforts on others proved to be a worthy distraction for a while….

until it wasn’t.

Traveling Through The Darkness

I realized the more I gave away, the more I lost myself. When did I stop believing I was worth receiving everything I so willingly gave to those around me?

It all started with a lie or two, and it expanded from there. Those who had hurt me since a child; some were jealous of my light and sought to stand in it, to warm themselves, leaving me but a shadow

Suddenly, I could feel my heart and fears were thawing and realized I had the choice to free myself. I could face the lies of my past and the lies society has told women about their worthiness residing only in what they could do.

The Courage To Turn The Corner

I always wanted to be someone, since I was that little girl singing songs of triumph with her hairbrush microphone. I wanted that spirit restored in my soul!

What if I served myself, too?

I found myself trembling at the realization the key had always been there I just needed the guts to embrace the truth.

Soon, I found myself walking closer to the sun to receive warmth for myself. The key all along was to warm myself first, so that I could warm others.

I moved closer to the sun to feel its rays reach the places inside of myself that I had abandoned. And I asked myself this question: ” If no one else could stop you or judge you. What is it that YOU want. What is it that YOU need?’